Lunch Box

In year six of primary school everyone in my class was asked to do a job in their lunchtimes. These jobs included:

  • FS2 (helping the year 1’s eat their lunches).
  • Huff & Puff (Doing sports with years 1-3).
  • Stacking chairs after lunch while everyone is out at break.

I opted for one of the easier options, FS2. This seemed sensible, as I wasn’t that much of a sporty kid (except for cross country running [but I doubted they would make 4-6 year olds run though muddy fields]). And stacking chairs just didn’t appeal to 11 year old me.

So FS2 – looking after year 1’s while they eat their lunch, easy right? Wrong.

The first thing wrong with FS2 was that they put my friend and I in the side room, the room where they put the naughty kids. Not just the kids who called each other names, but also the kids who thought it was hilarious to lob food at one another…and us.

We had problems such as:

“My mummy gave me a dry packet of noodles.”

His mum actually put a packet of dry noodles in his lunch box, every day for a couple of weeks, and we weren’t allowed to boil the kettle. That kid was hungry.

“Will you peel my orange?”

Oh. My. Gosh. If I had a pound for every orange I had to peel that year, I would be rich. Our nails and thumbs would be stained orange from the amount of oranges we had to peel every day.

Now I can really smell oranges…hmm.

My friend and I would play games and the loser would have to peel all the oranges for the day.

Near to the end of our career the ‘dry pot noodle kid’ (as we now called him), refused to eat his yoghurt.

Wait. Do you eat or drink yoghurt..? Stop getting distracted!

Anyway, he needed to eat his yoghurt because of the rule that kids could leave one thing in their lunchboxes. This one thing was his dry pot noodle, so he had to eat the yoghurt before he could go out to play, and this wasn’t happening any time soon. He got so mad that he ripped off the top of the yoghurt (you know the ones in the tubes) and started swinging it around his head. My friend and I dived for cover. When he had stopped, we climbed out from our hiding spot. The whole room was covered in yoghurt. We spent the rest of that lunchtime cleaning the ceiling with wet cloths attached to sticks.

If peeling oranges and cleaning up yoghurt wasn’t bad enough, we also had to take the kids out to break time. During break time the children raced around on scooters and in plastic cars. At the start and end of playtime, we had to put out and take back in the vehicles. Putting them back in was the most difficult part of FS2 in my opinion, because the shed we had to cram them into was so small that it took two people (my friend and I) – one to hold the equipment and the other to lean against the doors to try and close them.

But all in all, I think they only chose the most capable year six’s to do FS2. And looking back it was a good laugh, *whispers* even if my thumbs are still slightly stained…

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