So this morning I burnt my ear. I know, big deal. But, whilst running around holding a bag of ice on my head I thought about how hard it would be to only have one arm. So, here is my one armed morning routine.
6:30 – Get up early to curl hair. Burn my ear.
6:32 – Run to the bathroom and attempt to fit my head under the tap.
6:34 – Attempt fails.
6:35 – Wets a tissue and put it on ear.
6:37 – Go back to my room and realise I’m still in pain so go and get Mother.
6:40 – Mother puts frozen spinach on ear.
6:41 – Holds bag on ear with right hand and try and do everything else with the left.
6:45 – Attempt one armed make up (the key word here is attempt).
6:46 – Give up.
6:50 – Put freshly curled hair up in a bun because it keeps getting stuck in the ear cream. Eww.
7:00 – Make breakfast. Well try and make breakfast.
7:10 – Spill yoghurt down leg because you have no control over your freekin’ left hand.
7:15 – Stop your cat trying to lick the curling wand. Stupid cat.
7:20 – Smother your now numb ear with cream.
7:25 – Eat breakfast.
7:40 – Try and brush teeth but fail miserably because you are using your STUPID LEFT HAND.
7:45 – Put frozen spinach back in freezer for the next person to have burnt ear tasting spinach.
7:47 – Run out the door and go to school.