I’m Sorry, Ibby…

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The other day, I was discussing with my sister all the horrible things I have done to her over the years.

Now, I love my sister very dearly. I would consider her one of my best friends. We get along so well (most of the time) and always have so much to talk about to each other.

She is also a wonderful model whenever I have a last minute photoshoot, she will never complain. Even when I tell her I am going to paint her face or cover her lips in glitter…don’t ask.

I tell her pretty much everything. Anything going on in my life, she probably knows it. She also gets all my very ugly snapchats. Sorry, not sorry.

Yet, I still feel the need to be mean. Not like fighting and saying means things to her, just pulling mean pranks. We were trying to think of all stunts I have pulled on her and came up with a list. This is definitely not all of them, but some of my favourites.

1. Octonauts:

When Ibby was younger, she used to watch a programme called ‘Octonauts’. I guess it is still on now, if you have the strange urge to go and watch rubbish kid’s TV. Anyway, Ibs had some plastic figures of each of the characters. I thought I would be hilarious to pretend I threw them out the window of our moving car. As she was quite young at the time, she believed me… She started crying, obviously.

2. Hand Cream:

Now, a lot of these depend on my sister being very gullible and trusting. Which she shouldn’t be after all I have done to her. We were in a garden centre smelling hand cream (as you do) when I decided to say:

“You know, hand cream is really great for conditioning your eyebrows”

“What?!” Ibby replied in shock

“Yeah, everyone is doing it. Haven’t you seen?!”

“Oh, okay!” *proceed to smear hand cream all over her eyebrows in the middle of a busy garden centre*.

3. Toothbrush:

Ibby went through a phase of putting toothpaste on my toothbrush when she went to bed, so when I came to bed it was all ready for me. Being the awful human I am decided to do the same for her toothbrush, but instead of toothpaste…soap. She was being so nice, why am I like this?!

4. @Bristol Eye Masks:

A few weeks ago we went to a science museum called ‘@bristol’. There are loads of science experiments etc to do. In one of them, one person puts on an eye-mask whilst the other pokes their arm with a shoe lace (like you do). The aim being; to see if you can tell if you are being poked with one end or two ends.

When Ibby put on the eye-mask, I poked her a couple of times and then ran away. She was stood in the middle of a room with an eye-mask on and her arm outstretched, shouting, “one! No, two!”. When she finally realised, she took off the mask and saw me laughing across the other side of the room.

That same day, I ran head-first into big plastic tank, thinking it was further away than it was. I cut my lip open – which is probably what I deserved. But that’s a story for another day…

5. Mini Eggs:

My sister and I have this thing where we like to be the last person eating any kind of treat, so we can make the other person jealous. I know. It’s really weird… Anyway, on the journey back from Scotland, we were given some chocolate Mini Eggs each. I ate all of mine within the first few minutes. However, when Ibby asked me how many I had left in my packet, I told her ‘five’. She happened to have five too. She told me that she wasn’t going to eat any of hers until I ate any of mine. I told her she would be waiting a long time.

I then told her if I ate one of my chocolates before she ate one of hers, I would give her a pound. Obviously I didn’t have any to eat. After about half an hour, I told her I never actually had any chocolates, so she had been saving them for no reason at all.

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Anyway, Ibby, If you happen to be reading this (which you probably aren’t as you never read any of my blogs, no matter how many times I ask you to), thanks for putting up with my constant sarcastic comments and annoying pranks. You’re the best. Xxx

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